White noise from The White House

Archive for the category “Jaymie”


I hear your call my fans. The masses are clamoring and I am here to deliver.

In other words – I can’t sleep. Don’t know why. I probably could sleep if I tried but my mind is active and I know I will lay there for 30+ minutes trying to make out the time on our new wall-projecting alarm clock. If you haven’t noticed, I wear Coke bottle bottoms for glasses. I assumed when I bought that alarm clock that it would alleviate my need to put my glasses on to view the alarm clock that was 2.5 feet from my face. It has not. The numbers are 1.5 feet tall, half a foot wide. 12:47 looks like 8:39 and you get the drift.

Avery is so funny. Like the rest of the Johnson clan, she loves her bacon. I jokingly called her the baconator after one episode where she literally asked me ‘Dad, can I have some bacon?’ (I think I had made her bacon and pancakes for breakfast the previous day). Well…although she loves her some bacon…she has a pancake addiction… I told her this morning – “Avery, you’re a pancakeanotor” to which she replied…”Nooooo, I’m the baconator!” Love it.

We have been doing “dream feeds” with Micah. Since I”m the night owl – I try to take it. After feeding him – I usually go check on Avery only to find her in some odd bodily contortion, usually diagonal across her bed on top of the covers. No different last night. So I gently picked her up and moved her to parallel to the long axis of her bed with head on pillow. She happened to open her eyes and look at me in disbelief. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and said “I love you Avery, good night.” In the sweetest, most innocent voice she said “Too. Good night Daddy.” “Too” is her shorthand for “love you too…”

Contrast this to Jaymie. I bound down the steps all proud and happy. My angelic daughter just said the sweetest thing to me. Laying down in bed, typically Jaym will rustle and at times we’ll have a brief coherant conversation typically along the lines of:

“Did you feed Woody*?”

“Ya, fed him 7 oz. Man he had a wet diaper”

“You think he’ll sleep through the night.”

“Hope so. But I made another bottle – it’s up there for later.”


However sometimes Jaymie is not all that interested in talking.

This was the case last night…

Me: “Avery said the coolest thing to me”

Jaym: Grunt. Grimace. Sigh.

Me: “She said good night Daddy.”

Jaym: Nothing

Me: “You awake? You hear me?”

Jaym: Indiscernible noise that seemed to indicate “Yes”

* Woody: Micah’s new nickname. If he doesn’t have an aptitude for wood carving as an adult I’ll be shocked. The inside of his crib is his art. He’s trying to make his mark on the coffee tables, TV stand, rocking chair, and kitchen chairs if he can. Woody as in Woodchuck.



New Year

Every year, I kind of do some thinking on New Year’s Resolutions, but never really come up with a plan, etc.  This year, I’m putting it out there into the blogosphere….even if no one ever reads this, it’s written down and I can think about it and even come back to it next New Year and see how I did.

New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Organization.  Get the house organized.  I started this last year with meal-planning each week, and it’s done wonders for my sanity level at dinner time and for my number of trips to the grocery.  Rarely do I go to the grocery store more than once per week.  I do occasionally pick up something I need from our (non-Super) Target.  But, I usually go there once a week for diapers or formula or to just look around for a bit.  I’ve started getting my closet organized already (which has a lot of #2 involved), and we organized the Christmas stuff when we put it away, which helped us organize our downstairs storage closet.  We’re in the process of organizing Micah’s closet, which is HUGE.  It’s been a mess for a year or so.  We finally moved in a (huge) file cabinet in last weekend and the only things we need to organize are some of the kids keepsakes.  Up next: Our upstairs storage closet, my dresser and sock drawer, and our kitchen cabinets.

2.  De-clutter.  After Christmas, I didn’t even know it had been bubbling, but it hit me…the clutter of the house was overwhelming to me.  And I needed to take all of the Christmas stuff down NOW.  So, Tim obliged and that was our New Year’s Eve. [Thanks, honey!]  It felt good though to start the year off without stuff everywhere.  I realized around Christmas how much stuff we have.  Shoes, clothes, toys, etc.  It kind of made me feel heavy somehow.  So, I have gone through my shoes, and most of my closet and if I haven’t worn it in the last 2 years (I was prego last year, so I gave myself a grace year), it went.  I tried my hardest not to keep things because it was cute but doesn’t fit right, used to fit, might fit again someday, etc.  It was harder than I thought.  Same with shoes.  I kept a few special occasion shoes, but if I hadn’t worn them, they’re gone.  Part of the de-clutter plan is also to have a garage sale this spring.  I CANNOT WAIT.

3. Read more.  I don’t read enough.  I would love some book suggestions.  Either challenging or mindless.  My brain needs a workout.

4. More intentional with kids.  Somtimes the running around of the day gets in the way of what I really want to do: be a good mom to our kids.  I am going to try to come up with 3 things I want to do with each of them each day and follow through on them.

5. More positive.  Some days I’m quite the negative Nellie.  I want to change this for many reasons.  Still coming up with a game plan for this one.

Do you have any resolutions?

A few observations

1.  I have officially turned into an old woman, evidenced by the fact I that I have a conversation with virtually everyone I talk with about how “time is flying” or “I can’t believe it’s almost Thanksgiving” or “Christmas is right around the corner.”  And sadder, I often initiate these conversations.

2.  There are not many “Baby’s 1st Christmas” onesies or sleepers in size 18 months.

3.  Summer is over:

"Bye, Summer."

That is all.

Fun on a Friday

Last night we treated ou’self with a little taste of heaven called Chik Fil A. We loaded up in our bad animal mini van and made our way there. Not abnormal for us…but we went a little wild and decided to go inside and sit down for our mmm mmm delicious meal.

A bit tongue and cheek here…life has changed a bit…and when Jaym and I decided we all needed to get out of the house…and we’d treat ourselves to a sit down meal at CFA…we looked at each other and realized we live a fun yet lame life.

While laughing our way through it…

I had time to take this picture:


Jaym was in better spirits after I convinced her that we should laugh our way through it.

In truth, I was scared and was coaxing myself to relax. Seeing your wife in an ambulance or wheeled into an OR is not fun.

Laughing Our Way Through

As you may or may not know (although I think the only people who read this are family, so you do know), I’ve been in the hospital a few times in the last month since Micah’s been born.  Tim and I tend to have a lighthearted approach toward life in general…we like to laugh at ourselves and at each other.  Its also how we deal with conflict (sometimes inappropriately) or any uncomfortable feelings (also sometime inappropriate), but it generally works for us.   But sometimes it backfires…

So, during our first trip to the ER right before Memorial Day, let me walk you through a scenario and brief conversation.

Scene:  At the ER.  Jaymie is basically bleeding to death.  Jaymie is tense, as she is bleeding to death and no one seems to care.  Jaymie is laying on the ER bed with an IV, bleeding, as doctors talk about whether to send  her home or to a bigger hosptial via ambulance.  Tim, loving husband, is by her side.

Jaymie: basically just taking lots of deep breaths and hoping not to bleed to death before the doctors figure out if she can go home and bleed to death or if they should help her.

Tim: takes Jaymie’s hand and lovingly says, “Let’s just laugh our way through this.”

Jaymie (glaring at the Hubs):  “Yeah, we’re in the ER and I’m bleeding profusely.  This is hilarious.”

This was clearly one of those times Tim was trying to use humor, but it just came out as inappropriate…BOM.  Major.  At least we can laugh about it now. 

ps.  I’m still alive.

pps.  This post *might* be a little overdramatic.

Avery quotes

Avery talking to Micah:

“HI MICAH!  HI MICAH!  HI MICAH! HI MICAH!  HI MICAH!” (usually while he is sleeping)

“Hi Big Guy” or “Its okay Big Guy” (when he’s crying)

“Hi Buddy”

“Hi Big Micah” hahahaha.

Other Avery faves:

“I like to moo it moo it” (move it move it)

“I run really fast, Mommy” (after her 1000th trip to water the tree with her quart-sized watering can)

“I wanna get wet, Mommy.” (playing outside when no water is present)

“I kick the wall.  Daddy spank my doodah.” (doopah–spelling?) 

“I play outside the whole day.”

“Mommy sleep in da bed the whole day.”

(something unintelligible)….”right Mommy?”

(in demanding, slavedriver voice) “SHHHOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  (this one doesn’t get her too far)

My personal fave:

“I yuv you Mommy.”


I admire Jaymie. It is tough to wrangle two kiddos, especially a ‘tremendous’ two year old and an infant. Tonight, Big Mike (his alter ego nickname) decided to continue his sleep strike that commenced this morning. I have been trying to get him to crash tonight…kiddo is so tired he fell asleep on the changing table…yet wont fall asleep otherwise.

Jaymie is constantly on duty. At the beckon call of her two and sometimes three kiddos. Nights like tonight make me realize what a saint she is.


Third time’s a charm.

Hey, its Jaymie here.  Since my last blog(s) was so dearly loved and followed but I just couldn’t keep up with the demands of my audience, I  decided to tagteam it with the Hubs.  I will be writing about funny happenings, the kids and interesting tidbits while Tim will be writing about boring stuff like NATO and the military.  Hope you’ll be a follower.  Maybe with a partner, pictures will actually get posted.

Jaymie’s Previous Blog

Some hilarious stuff in there…



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